At times, I find myself receiving unsolicited advice from strangers who don't know me at all. It's interesting how these pieces of advice come without me even asking for them. It is like people feel the need to offer guidance on different aspects of my life. While I appreciate that most of them have good intentions, I try not to let myself feel overwhelmed. However, there are moments when it can become a bit too much, especially when others believe they understand my challenges better than I do. Just the other day, I was waiting for a taxi and a lady standing behind me struck up a conversation. I was in a hurry, as I usually am. Even when I don't have anywhere to be, I always feel this rush to reach my destination and get back home. Anyway, this lady assumed I was a college student and started lecturing me about being smart, studying hard, and saving money. She said, "You might not realize the importance of saving money now, but it will come in handy one day." I almost burst out laughing, but instead, I told her that I wasn't actually a student and shared a bit about my family. She was surprised but continued talking about the importance of raising children properly and being a respectful wife and homemaker. I was starting to feel tired. Although I agreed with most of what she was saying, I wasn't in the mood to hear it because my mind was racing and I was in a rush. It's not uncommon for me to encounter people like her, who mean well but give unsolicited advice when I least want it. And then there are those who seem more interested in my life than their own.
Unsolicited advice is something that we often encounter in our social interactions, and it can be a mixed bag. Sometimes, it's nice to receive advice from others who genuinely want to help and understand our situation. However, there are times when it can feel like we are being judged or controlled by someone else's opinions. It's interesting to think about the different motivations behind unsolicited advice - some people offer it out of a genuine desire to be helpful and empathetic, while others may do so because they feel the need to assert control or conform to societal norms. Even strangers can feel compelled to share their thoughts based on limited observations. It's a delicate balance to navigate through this kind of advice, but it's important to remember to show appreciation for the effort, even if we don't necessarily agree. That's exactly what I did with the lady, who offered me some unsolicited advice - I thanked her for her input and expressed my gratitude for her willingness to help.
Similarly, there are individuals who prioritize the lives of others over their own, which can be both puzzling and frustrating. This behavior is driven by a desire to feel needed and valued, as helping others can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment that may be missing in their own lives. By immersing themselves in the problems and successes of those around them, they can feel important and connected. This focus on others can also serve as a way to validate their existence, tying their self-worth to their ability to make a positive impact on someone else's life. On the other hand, some people's fixation on external lives may stem from a reluctance to confront their own internal struggles. It can be easier for them to focus on the issues of others rather than address their own unresolved problems, anxieties, or insecurities. This behavior acts as a way to avoid self-examination, creating a temporary escape from the discomfort of facing their own emotional challenges by investing time and energy into the lives of others.
Sometimes, individuals who struggle with low self-esteem may mask their insecurities by focusing on the flaws of others, rather than facing their own shortcomings. This external projection serves as a defense mechanism to avoid potential criticism and scrutiny of their own flaws or failures. Additionally, individuals with a strong sense of empathy may prioritize the emotional needs of others over their own. Highly empathetic people have a unique ability to deeply connect with the feelings and experiences of those around them, sometimes to the point of neglecting their own emotional wellbeing and personal priorities. While having positive intentions towards others is admirable, it's essential to avoid crossing the line into neglecting one's own well-being. When the focus on others becomes overwhelming, it can lead to neglecting personal boundaries and essential needs, resulting in burnout and strained relationships. It is crucial to find a healthy balance between caring for others and oneself involves developing self-awareness, addressing insecurities, and setting boundaries.